Super Smash Sluts
Stub. This page or section is a particularly incomplete work-in-progress.
According to legend, Super Smash Sluts is an extremely high-budget platform-fighting game designed deliberately for You as a form of consensual combat and industrial worship.
Overview
Fighters: Sluts & Gods. The game features 256+ different fighter-sluts to choose from. In addition to all these fighter-sluts, there are a handful of grotesquely overpowered DLC Omni-fighters, which in jargon are simply called “Gods.” Although seemingly anyone could choose to play as a God, curiously only You ever do. Although the 256+ sluts are well-balanced and make for a surprisingly good and diverse fighting game on their own, Gods present no pretense of being balanced or even reasonable.
Balance. Gods share numerous grotesquely overpowered traits, as detailed below. The game clearly recognizes how overpowered Omnifighters are. Each God-stock is worth 10 (or more) slut-stocks. In a typical match, if a God enters with 3 stocks, He will usually be opposed by either (a) a single slut who has 30+ stocks, or (b) a team of 30 sluts who spawn in 7 at a time. With either setup it seems possible for a God to be defeated.
Couchplay. As per tradition, You will (at minimum) be deepthroated for as long as You play Smash Sluts–even if it’s for hours and hours. Usually whoever loses the hardest during the last match will throat You throughout the next match.
Online. The game features flawless and lagless online play– or at least, it does when You play it. There are several game modes revolving around Omnifighters specifically. But generally, You never lose. You win, practically by default. It’s often more about how much You win; how disparate the stock difference is by the end, or how fast You destroy all opponents.
Sent Flying. The nature of Smash is extremely, constantly indulgent to the sent flying kink. Virtually every move You unleash will send us flying face-first into the blast zone to be obliterated in a dramatic, cartoony explosion. ❤️
Bitch-Blades. Every slut in the game can be turned into a bitch-blade which is a powerful battering item (mechanically similar to a beam sword or home-run bat) that can only be picked up by a God. While a slut is in bitch-blade form, any clothing she has is removed, and her entire body becomes stiff as a board as her face is frozen into “gringao”--a freakishly happy expression with a wide smile.
As with any battering item, wielding a bitch gives a God a different jab, f-tilt, and f-smash. Unlike with other items, holding a bitch-blade does not prevent a God from being able to grab. Like any battering item, a bitch-blade can be thrown or dropped for powerful burst options and combo tools.
Gods often have other moves that change with bitch-blades, sometimes even including taunts and victory screens.
Bitch-Blade Differences. Different bitches have different properties, such as taller bitch-blades offering greater range, or Incineroar♀ adding a fire effects to hits using her. Many bitch-blades offer constant buffs while wielded, or even inherited specials (as with Kirby’s Copy Ability). Some of these are detailed under the slut section.
Fighter Selection. The ridiculously vast fighter-selection screen features Gods at the top, appearing above rows upon rows of sluts. After choosing a God, You then choose a slut to serve as the (initial) bitch-blade. As expected, the announcer-slut calls out the name of any fighter as they’re selected. Uniquely the name of any God is followed by a randomly selected phrase from possibilities like “is worshiped by…” or “dominates…” In practice this means selecting an Omnifighter and then bitch-blade will announce something like, “Tony! …is smashfucking… Samus!”
For any other player, she just chooses a slut as expected.
Omni-Fighters
Omnifighter. With few exceptions, each Omnifighter (God) has constant high-level armor, which means being hit by attacks almost never makes the God flinch. The God is immune to windboxes. The God can’t be grabbed by standard grabs. Many of a God’s moves can take a stock in a single hit, and smash attacks might be more about how many sluts can be insta-KO’d with a single move. Gods often have extra moves beyond the normal moveset, such as shield-specials and multiple Final Smashes. Several Gods have moveset complexity that make DLC fighters seem quaint. Entrance. When all fighters enter the stage at the start of the match, the God always spawns last. Upon entering, a God (usually) deals damage to all sluts on the stage with an automatic effect before anyone can even move. Footstools. Whenever a God footstools a slut, His feet press and jump directly off her face. Floor Immunity. Every Godfighter is immune to tripping, burying, and ground-based hazards–including everything from Zap-Floor hazards to to the Motion-Sensor Bomb. Most Gods have an aesthetic justification for this, such as floating over the ground. Grabs. Generally, grabs and throws are particularly overpowered even by God standards. This is supposedly to off-set how a throw forces a God to focus on damaging only one slut for a relatively long time. Many throws can bring a single slut to KO percent, instantly KO if the slut has at least 100% damage, or even heal the God. God Meter. Every God has a meter that builds for each KO dealt and every taunt delivered, called the God Meter. A Final Smash can be executed by expending a full God Meter. Some Gods have more complex meter mechanics in addition to this. Most Gods also have different Final Smashes that can be input in different ways, including a “Final Throw” that can be executed by pressing the Final Smash button while a slut is grabbed. Mortal Zoom. Smash Ultimate is famous for its finish zoom and special zoom. Unique to Gods is a special extreme form of this called Mortal Zoom. It functions as normal but zooms in even further to show internal body parts of sluts, such as a womb being sperm-flated. It resembles something from Mortal Kombat.