Samus
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This page highlights differences our universe's Samus has from the version You might remember. |
| Legendary Intergalactic Bounty Hunter | |||
|---|---|---|---|
 | |||
| Equip SFX | |||
| Tier | 5. Empress | DPS | 230,000,000 |
| Shape | Humanoid | Type | Fighting/Steel |
| Stats | |||
| Size | 3. Humanlike | Boob | 3. Melons |
| HP | 6. Nukes | Regen | 5. Minute |
| Strength | 4. Lifts Cars | Agility | 4. Like a Fox |
| Squish | 2. Humanlike | Affect | 3. Tsundere |
| Know | 5. Archival | Charm | 5. Queendom |
| Default Moves | |||
 Zero Laser
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 Shinespark
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 S. Missile Barrage
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 Power Bomb
| ||
Samus Aran is a legendary warrior renowned for defeating countless evil bitches throughout our galaxy using her full-body power suit, versatile arm cannon, resourcefulness, and determination.
Though Samus is thought to have once been nearly human, after decades of adventures and upgrades she has ascended into—we estimate—no less than Empress-tier.
Capabilities.
Her incredibly athletic build now stands nearly 9 feet tall, such that her original metalic power suit has become stretched over her body like a bikini. Typically her iconic Zero Suit is worn under this "power bikini," and when engaging particularly powerful bitches she dons a Metroid Suit that encloses her entire body in nigh-impentrable biometal but sacrifices self-control and inhibition while worn. Whether in "Morph Ball" form or not she is capable of detonating Power Bombs and Super Missiles that can achieve explosive yields comparable to nuclear bombs. Her arm cannon can launch city-clearing plasma shots sometimes called "Zero Lasers"—as zero infrastructure is thought to survive them.
Facing You. Samus of course erradicates bitches from our galaxy to make it a better home for specifically You, with any other benefits coming second. Some theorize she even patrols the entire galaxy in her spaceship primarily to locate You and engage in consensual combat. Indeed, the warrior's lustful urge to destroy You is exceeded only by her worshipful need to be utterly defeated by You—not uncommon for sluts.
According to prophecy her inevitable defeat will coincide with a legendary Death Scream. Surely she will pop drop from her own defeat as a Slut-Equip. Some foretell that either before or after her defeat Samus will be nutted in Morph Ball form.
Spermknight Suit
Some prophesize that Samus will—or perhaps already has—ascend to the entirely new tier of Goddess. We estimate this will most likely occur if her Metroid Suit incorporates Godsperm, skyrocketing her already heroic capabilities as she becomes a Spermknight.
We believe this will merge her three suits—Zero, Power, and Metroid—into a single stark-white spermsteel that completely armors her entire body, channgling copious Sperm-Lightning and featuring the iconic "sperm helm" of Spermknights. Both arms can transform into cannons at-will, capable of launching thermonuclear Godsperm Grenades, Sperm-Lightning, and even devastatingly powerful faux-fucknukes.
Slut Equip: Samus Vambrace
When You victoriously equip Samus, something resembling an orange version of her arm cannon appears on Your forearm like a vambrace as her iconic Equip SFX jingle plays. The vambracelikely resembles a metallic, sharply angled version of herself in slutsack-shape as if impaled all-the-way-through by Your fist.
The inside certainly feels like her slutsack, as while wearing the bracer Your forearm feels snugly squeezed by her smoochers and lusciously warm cunt-throat, likely including a tongue that tickles the underside of Your wrist or even sneaks out to savor Your palm.
While equipped this way, Samus provides You with several abilities concurrently:
- Screw (You) Attack. All of Your jumps at-will become Screw Attacks, becoming incredible interrupts and combo tools. [1]
- Charge Shot. As You hold out Your hand, an intense sphere of energy—likely combining both Your Sperm-Lightning and Samus's Love Energy—rapidly forms and surges in both size and power. While charging Samus's metallic slutskull might extend over Your hand to become more like a conventional arm cannon, as Samus's own eyes and spread lips scream even more energy into the sphere. If charged to the maximum level&mdashtaking only a few seconds—this sphere can detonate as a landscape-clearing Zero Laser. [2]
- Samus Saber. At-will, the vambrace can transform into a full-body Bitch-Blade held in Your hand, or transform back into a vambrace worn on Your forearm. In standard grip Samus's entire body below the boobs transforms into a plasma beamsword. In reverse grip she typically wears only her blue Zero Suit, with her nose a sweetspot that can inflict extra stun on hit.
Image References
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